


The little fellow in your hands wants a kissy!

by CitrineGator



Category: HLVRAI - Fandom, Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware, The Borrowers - All Media Types
Genre: Black Mesa Sweet Voice, He/ Themrey, M/M, Near Death Experience, benrey typical bullshittery, general gordon anxiety abt things, gordon has a bad relationship w his parents, gordon lives alone, gordon typical cursing, it's quickly resolved tho, or does he? smirks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:08:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27736645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CitrineGator/pseuds/CitrineGator
Summary: Aka: the little fellow in your hands wants a kiss. The little fellow in your walls wants a kiss. The little fellow in your ceiling wants a kiss. The fellow living in the walls wants to kiss you SO bad.Gordon Freeman a slightly depressed twenty seven year old working a dead end job who lives alone in his one bedroom apartment, realizes that he may in fact not be living alone!
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 51
Kudos: 167





	1. Oh boy I love home invasion

**Author's Note:**

> YOOOO i realized how epic and cool the other borrower au's were so... hello :)  
> I'm writing dis w a good friend ov mine beatlebambi on insta and!! tghey ar so epic n help da writing process so much and it SHOWS. ty bro, *kisses u politely*  
> but!! am actually so hyped to be sharin it w y'all... having a lotta fun wif it so!! here ya go!!  
> also. if u came from my insta expecting da next fic to be a sirens one. im liar. this infected my brain the more i talked about it. so. ehehe evil. sirens one will come eventually but this iz so fun.. grinning!

Living alone since college did have its perks. There was nobody to awkwardly walk around after creeping into the kitchen at some god awful time in the morning, and nobody to yell at him for messy floors and a dirty sink. Then again, it did have its downfalls in that respect too. No one to pester him to ‘shape up’ and ‘get to work’. Now, Gordon didn’t live in an absolute _mess_ of an apartment, he did have some standards still! It was just, with no outside interaction aside from the few people he talked to at work, things got out of hand pretty easily. Clothes piled up in the corners of his bedroom, most of them in various states of unwash, his floors hadn’t been cleaned in a while, and the entirety of his bathroom had definitely seen better days. 

He… He was going to get around to cleaning. Eventually. He just- he had a lot of things on his plate right now! Like the extra work that’d been pawned onto him after one of his co-workers had quit earlier in the week, and the more pressing matter of the letter his Mom had sent, that he’d promptly shoved to the back of the drawer in his nightstand, still unopened. And hopefully, it’d stay that way. He knew his curiosity would get the better of him in a moment of desperation, _hoping_ that maybe it would be an apology for once, despite knowing better from experience. He’d thrown away the other letters she’d sent him over the four years since he’d been officially excommunicated from his childhood home. 

For now though, the letter sat unopened, remaining a distant thought in the back of his mind. 

Currently though, he was watching whatever show had been playing on his TV for the past hour, not really absorbing anything that was happening on screen. His vision blurred slightly as his eyes slid over to the dimly glowing clock on the wall just outside his kitchen. One twenty in the morning; which wasn't really _too_ late for him, especially with it being a Friday evening- well, Saturday morning now. But his eyelids were growing heavier by the second and he could feel that familiar fuzziness of sleep wash over him like the annoying scratchy blanket he’d shoved to the back of his closet the first day he’d moved into his apartment. 

Nudging his glasses up, Gordon rubbed at his eyes with the palm of his good hand and reached down to the coffee table ahead of him, pawing around for the last few ritz he’d left in the pack. Tying the wrapper back up in a quick motion, he rose from his slouched position on the couch with a soft grunt. Dragging his feet over the carpet, Gordon re-entered his dark kitchen, only slightly lit from the flickering light of his TV. Maneuvering his way to the pantry, he placed the small package on the middle-most shelf and shuffled back out. He paused to turn off his TV before feeling his way down the narrow hallway in the direction of his bedroom. 

Undoing the straps on his prosthetic arm and setting it down into its charger on his nightstand, along with his phone, and finally his glasses, Gordon clambered into his bed and tucked himself under the thin comforter, suited for the warm New Mexico nights. The dip on the other side of his bed from the old presence of another body sent a familiar sense of annoyance and hurt through him, but it was fairly easily ignored with how tired he was. It’d been two years since that spot had been occupied by someone else. And Gordon was okay with that. He occupied his time with other things; video games, work, learning guitar, something he’d still yet to fully commit to despite having already purchased the instrument. 

Flipping his pillow over a few times, Gordon slowly let his exhaustion creep back over his mind, pulling him into a restless slumber. 

. . . 

He woke with a start, light splashing across his face as he quickly glanced around his room. Right- bedroom. Morning. Yup. He studied the various objects littered around his floor as he waited for his racing heart to calm. A shoebox he still hadn’t thrown out, jacket, a hardback book that probably had more than a few folded pages at this point, empty backpack, mini helmet- 

Gordon didn't own a mini helmet. To his knowledge, he didn’t own a mini _anything_ , but there the small thing sat on his floor, it’s metal surface glinting in the late morning light. Lifting the comforter from his body with a yawn, Gordon carefully placed his glasses back onto the bridge of his nose. Rising from his bed, he plodded over the carpeted floor, and paused to crouch down next to the small item. 

Picking it up between his thumb and forefinger, Gordon examined the little metal helmet. Upon first examination it just looked like a simple doll hat, maybe a little sturdier than usual but that was fine, old toys were typically made that way. Gordon had no reason to have any toys in his apartment, but he might have picked it up on one of his walks, so it’s appearance on his bedroom floor wasn't too unusual. What was odd was the fact that when turned over, Gordon found small hairs clinging to the delicate padding on the inside. 

He curled his lip at the idea of rodents in his apartment. Maybe… it was finally time to clean up his mess. Hopefully all the movement would scare the rats or whatever off. Standing with a huff, he placed the little helmet onto his nightstand and turned to survey the rest of his room. It’d take a few loads of laundry to get all of the clothes cleaned up and put back in his closet, but he had the time anyway so it wasn't a big deal. He could just pop on some music to drown out the boredom of some of the more dull tasks. 

Carefully removing his prosthetic from it’s charger on his nightstand and fitting it back onto his arm, Gordon scooped the nearest pile of clothing up into his grasp. Nudging his bedroom door open with his foot, he trotted down to the laundry closet. Dumping the clothes into the washer, he poured in the necessary chemicals and set it off on a quick load. Padding back to his room, Gordon was in the motions of grabbing his phone when he noticed the helmet was gone. 

Blinking, he checked the ground by his feet and to no avail, it seemed to have vanished into thin air. Which was more of an unsettling notion than anything because he’d _just_ set the thing up there. It wasn't like there was anybody visible around who could have taken it either. 

Gordon put rat traps onto his list of things to buy for the next time he was at the store. 

Turning on some music, Gordon shoved his phone into his back pocket as he headed back in the direction of the laundry closet for a broom. And in all honesty, it didn't take him very long to get everything cleaned. His bathroom only took the longest because he kept getting grossed out every few minutes, but really, it took him _maybe_ an hour and a half. 

So, really, he could have done it any other time. Just another instance of him putting things off till they got too bad for him to handle for a second longer. Because he probably had a whole fucking _rat_ infestation in his apartment now because he let things get so shitty. 

Gordon groaned, knocking his head against the wall a few times. _Fuck_. He didn't have the money to call for some vermin company, he couldn't go to his shitty landlord for this so he’d have to do it on his own and he sure as hell couldn't call his parents up asking how to deal with it either. So it was up to him. 

Of course though, he couldn’t solve anything if he’d already starved to death, he plodded back into his kitchen. 

A late lunch, or brunch? He didn't know the terminology of meals at this point; it was early afternoon and his first meal of the day. Maybe it _did_ constitute as brunch. Whatever, he was having a meal of some well-deserved ‘expensive ramen’ cooked in the microwave; an indulgent treat for himself since he allowed a _bit_ of splurging on the weekends. Resting his forehead on his cool kitchen countertop while he waited, Gordon scrolled through whatever shitfuck moments he missed on social media while he’d been cleaning. His mind was still semi foggy from overworking himself already so early on in the day, but at least he could still read what was on the screen. 

Gordon froze as the sound of quiet tapping finally rendered in his head. 

“Oh my god the fork-” Immediately jumping upright, he rushed to the microwave and pulled open the door, but nope. The froth of the noodles just steamed at him in an irritated, undercooked manner. There was… nothing there. Just the ramen and bubbly looking water. 

Closing the microwave again and starting it back up, the tapping resumed, emanating from somewhere nearby, sounding not unlike the little clickers they used to train dogs. Cautiously, Gordon stepped back in the direction of his living room, deftly grabbing the fork from the kitchen counter on his way. The taps stopped once more. 

“Hey uh... Do you have any more of those butter crackers or sumthin’?” asked a semi-quiet voice from somewhere near his ceiling. 

Alright. Okay. Cool, cool. a ghost nonchalantly asking for some crackers. This was fine. The first theory that came to his mind felt honestly pretty drastic and idiotic for Gordon’s usually logical approach to things. The bodiless voice from somewhere around kitchen cabinets was pretty fucking shocking when you’ve lived alone for the past four years. So he supposed it wasn't too far-fetched to jump straight to ‘Ghosts’. The other option was just- somebody was in his house and he hadn't even heard them come in! Gordon whirled around, his eyes flicking around the familiar sight of his kitchen to find whoever had been talking. And alas, no one was there. It was just him, standing in the middle of his empty kitchen, nearly vibrating with anxiety because he _swore_ he’d just heard somebody asking about his fucking _crackers_ \- 

“You can leave ‘em on the counter or sumthin’ bro, no need to freak, I'm not gonna like, bite you…” said the disembodied voice, trailing off into a deadpan laugh. 

“What the fuck.” Gordon mumbled, quickly shaking off the notion of a haunted apartment. 

“Hey I have a knife- er, fork, and... If you’re here for money or something I- I have some cash in the back of the cupboard just take it and leave. I don't want any trouble man,” he said, unable to keep a tremor out of his voice. 

“What? Maaaaan come on, just pop me a ritzy bro. Just a widdle’ ritzy for me-” 

Gordon spotted a fleck of blue from the edge of his vision. Swiveling to face the bright speck of color, he noticed something on the top of his fridge. Something small, with a vaguely doll-like figure was wiggling around up there, a few blue orbs hovering around it. 

Gripping the fork with an intensity that made his fist tremble, Gordon carefully approached the tiny thing still perched on the lip of his fridge. 

Swinging their legs like a giddy little kid, sat a tiny blueish grayish person no larger than the utensil in his hand, spitting out multicolored bubbles like a fucking _pez_ dispenser or some shit. 

And it was looking right at him. 

“Hey bigbean.”


	2. This swag ratatouille reference is going to exploded my brain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyoooo back again!! for the first half of this chapter i was playin 2048 da whole time lol i am sorry.. da silly got to me and i could do nothing to stop it  
> also! benrey uses da calm down blue on gordon here w out his permission so! ifv ya aint cool w that jus be wary. nothin bad happens w it but like. safe rather than sorry u knoe

It was a windy November afternoon when Gordon noticed. Or, well, more accurately, _didn’t_ notice. Because, apparently, he hadn't noticed for the past whole fucking _however long_ the fucking thing had been living in his apartment. 

He distantly scrambled through a quick list of theories and explanations to the impossible sight before him. 

Maybe a mutated rat. 

A hallucination. 

Even _ghosts_ were a plausible explanation on the table again. Because they could do things like that right? Make you see fucked up shit? 

But the truth of it all felt way more insane than he -or a ghost- could have imagined. A tiny little man. Not a doll, or a toy, or even a too-realistic prank, an actual small... Creature. 

Gordon could tell the difference between a recorded audio and a real voice- he was a computer science major for christ’s sake, that was part of the _course_ \- but this was most _definitely_ the latter. It- _he_ blinked. The little dude seemed to be breathing, and eating some small crumb held in his tiny little hands. 

“What." 

“I said hey bro.” said the little creature. 

“What- I’m- I- what are you?” 

“What am I? Damn. Rude-ass. It’s ‘ _Who_ are you’. You never met anybody? Jesus, I knew you didn't get out much, but yikes man.” 

“What? Just- Sh-Shut up man what the hell, what the hell are you? For real?” 

“‘M Benrey, man.” said the creature, shoveling the whole rest of the crumb into his maw like a rabid squirrel. 

“Oh my god. I’m having a stroke I think? I- I need to lay down.” Gordon said, taking another step back toward his couch and squeezing his eyes shut, “Get out of my brain this is- oh my god. Fuck, you’re probably a rat or something and carbon dioxide poisoning is making me think you’re ratatouille two or something-” 

“Hi’mf nm’f wus r’my” Benrey grumbled through a mouthful of mystery crumbs. 

Gordon cracked his eyes back open at the muffled sound of the little man’s voice, “What?” 

Benrey swallowed. “His name was Remy, dude. If you’re gonna reference ratatouille at least do it _right_.” 

“I- I didn't know that...” Gordon mumbled, rusted gears turning in his head, “Shit. _I_ didn’t know that. I couldn't've hallucinated that if _I_ didn't know it.” 

“Haha, yeah no I'm real bro. Real as a… what’s Tommy call it? ‘Real as warm gum on the sidewalk’ lol.” 

“Holy fuck. This is not happening.” Gordon said, running his hands through his hair while trying to ignore how the real, actual, living, creature- _Benrey_ \- had just said _LOL_ out loud. 

Meanwhile, the guy on top of his fridge seemed content to continue mindlessly swinging his legs up there, tiny little boots knocking against the top of his fridge door in the gentle pattering Gordon had mistaken for his fork about to explode in the microwave only moments before. How times had changed! 

“How- how long have you even _been_ here?” Gordon finally asked, regaining as much of his composure that he possibly could in a situation as absurd as this. 

Benrey shrugged, a little tail flicking out from behind them, wavering absently in the air before quietly thumping back onto the top of his fridge, “I dunno’ like uh… Three minutes. Maybe.” 

“No! Fucking- how long have you been in my _apartment_?” 

Again, he shrugged, “For a while bro, I don’t know. Since you had short hair I guess? Growin’ it out now, looks uh, nice.” 

Gordon blinked at the small entity staring blandly back at him. Since- since his hair had been short? That was like, three years ago. Benrey had been here for three whole _years_? Where was he even _staying_? Gordon obviously hadn’t _seen_ him till now, but apparently he’d been around long enough to know that he’d had short hair at one point! Was he sleeping in his bed or drinking from his cups? The thought of the slimy-looking vermin using his dish towel as a blanket made Gordon shiver. 

“Where’ve you been sleeping? Please tell me you haven't been sleeping in my laundry-” 

“Not _yet_ …” 

“Do _not_ fucking do that. I- I’d probably crush you or something.” 

“Nah dude I wouldn't. Wouldn't usually… I'm not even supposed to be talkin’ to ya’ right now to be honest bro. Kinda like, forbidden and stuff.” Benrey said, making air-quotes with grimy, clawed, fingers. 

“But you sleep in my house-” 

“Technically, yeah.” 

“And you don't speak to me, and you hide from me. Are you fucking- stalking me or something?” 

“Stalking?” Benrey paused to scratch his chin, apparently deep in thought, “Not on purpose, man. Unless ya’ _want_ me to. Freak-man.” 

“It’s _Freeman_ ,” Gordon hissed on instinct, quickly losing his patience with the tiny person, “Gordon Freeman.” 

“What? Oh you mean your name? I was just joking, man. Well, _Free-Man_ , gonna' get me some crackers or nah?” 

“No, _no no no_ , not until you tell me what you are and what you're really doing in my house.” He replied, grabbing a spatula for safe measure, in case the thing- _Benrey_ \- decided to try something. 

“Uh,” Benrey let out a dramatic sigh, “We just live here man. Ain’t so complicated.” 

“Hold on, _we_?” 

“Huh?” 

“You said ‘we’, are there more of you um-” 

“-Borrowers-” 

“Are there more borrowers here?” 

Benrey grew quiet, mumbling something under his breath. 

“What?” 

No. Just me bro. _So_ lonely by myself. I cry myself to sleep every night. On god. Nobody else.” 

“You-” Gordon tripped over his words, stumbling for a response, or even a question. There wasn't a protocol for this. There was no code algorithm that would give him X information from Y. This was all completely uncharted territory with some- some little dude living in his apartment, “Why talk to me now?” 

Benrey stopped spewing, or rather _singing_ out a deep song of citrus and lavender orbs, cocking his head slightly at the large man. 

“If being hidden from me is so important, why would you break that rule now?” 

“You uh,” Benrey smacked his lips obnoxiously, “You don’t have your passport. No- no identification to go anywhere. Pretty sure that's a crime. Had to make sure you weren't committing any crimes.” 

Gordon blinked, “So- wait, let me get this straight,” licking his lips, Gordon squeezed his eyes shut as he tried to parse out his thoughts, “You _came out of hiding_ , even though it’s apparently against the rules for you or whatever. And it was _just_ to… _Harass_ me over not having a passport? I haven’t even been overseas! You- you don't need that unless you do!” 

“No you don’t get it bro. I uh- I have to make sure you’re following the rules. If you don’t I get sick. Get _real_ sick bro, part of my uh. Biology. Wouldn't want me coughing all over your couch would you?” The borrower, that's what Benrey had called himself right? Whatever he was, his tail was idly swiping around behind him, no doubt collecting the dust off the top of his fridge, “Better get that passport soon. For now you could uh, grab me some more of those crackers though? Keep me from getting sick?” 

Scowling, Gordon folded his arms over his chest, his eyes suddenly locking onto the gleaming item atop the borrower's head. He squinted as he took a small step forward, making Benrey shift back slightly with his sudden movement. 

“Bro uh, crackers in the other direction don’t- will have to- I’m going to have to be bad if you take a step closer.” 

“Is that the fucking helmet from my room?” 

“What? My head’s too small for one of your helmets, Beanman,” Benrey huffed, quickly averting his eyes, “And it’s _my_ helmet not just some… Stupid one. Mine’s good. Great helmet.” 

Gordon let out a frenzied laugh, his features tightening slightly as he continued, “So you- there’s just been some _little man_ -” 

Benrey made a tsk’ sound as another jet of bubbles bursted free from his maw like a broken jacuzzi, “Not a man.” 

“Sorry, lady?” 

“No-” Benrey sighed, “just say _person_. ‘S not that hard.” 

“Right. But there's just been this _tiny person_ living in my _fucking_ apartment, probably going through all of my _fucking_ things and apparently leaving shit everywhere!” 

“Well, you are kinda being a room hog. You only use like, one _trillionth_ of the rooms you have and you don't even clean them _good_ , man.” 

Gordon’s face flushed with embarrassment as he glared at the small borrower “Oh fuck off- I just cleaned up all that shit today!” 

“Ya. Only after I started dumping _my_ shit in there too. You’re welcome.” 

“What do you _mean_ you're welcome?” Gordon ground out as he took a step closer to jab his finger in Benrey’s direction, “It’s _my_ room! Don't leave your things in there! Do- don’t you have your own place to dump your stuff?” 

“Barely.” Benrey said, getting up from his perch on the ledge. “It’s like-” he paused to slide down the handle of the fridge and jump onto the countertop. Surveying the room with slitted eyes, “It’s like the size of... That.” Benrey said, pointing to the small trash can sitting pathetically beside the wall that divided the living room from the kitchen. 

“The trash can?” 

“It’s pretty much just like that, yeah. Super small, smells wack, pretty gross. And I've got no space to put all my cool stuff. Like, what if i got somethin’ new and big, beanman? Can’t put it in there, huh? Can’t even fit my new shiny bike in my loser cringe fail room.” 

“Okay. Well what the hell do you want me to do?” 

The borrower paused, now looking up at his thoroughly large cohabitant. From his new position on the countertop, he was nearly waist-level with Gordon now, “Oh. Uh, I dunno. Could start with giving me some of those crackers that I asked for earlier though.” 

Gordon could feel his pulse in his fingertips, his thoughts running like a coal powered steam train through his mind. His fist tightened around the spatula in his grasp as he glared at the borrower perched on his counter. _This creep had the_ audacity- 

“ _Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb_ ,” The little blue creature in front of him spat a volley of blue balls in Gordon’s face, their expression still as flat as the devil’s poker face. 

“Hey! F-” His shoulders fell against his own volition as the bubbles popped against the scruff of his beard; the pounding in his temples eventually subsided as the stream of blue continued. Eventually the orbs petered out till it was just Gordon standing there with the kitchen utensil clutched lamely in his hand, Benrey watching him with a look of utter contempt. 

“How-” 

“Magic, bro.” the borrower whispered. “May I _please_ have crackers now?” 

“Can you tell me what that was, maybe?” 

“Crackers first. ‘M hungry, and now I'm tired too.” 

Gordon sighed, not wanting to cause more conflict, even if it would get him that strangely alluring pixie dust thing. It felt as if a pleasantly warm weighted blanket had been draped over his shoulders, urging him to just relax and listen to whatever was rolling through his ears and into his brain. 

It didn't bother him. He didn’t want to like it though. Especially since it was coming from the irritating guest on his countertop. But he didn't really hate it. 

Placing the spatula back into the holder he’d taken it from, Gordon grabbed the half-empty sleeve of ritz from the cabinet where he’d stashed them the night before, and laid the open package down next to the tiny creature. 

A single cracker was as large as the borrower’s entire torso, but Benrey still managed to eat one in just under fifteen seconds after he put it on the counter. 

Gordon stared down at Benrey, going for another cracker with an intent look on their face. 

“Hey man…” Gordon interrupted, leaning down so he was almost eye-level with the borrower, “It’s been a long week and I really dont have the time to have a crisis over this, so I'm just gonna eat my ramen, and watch some anime and I'll let you do your thing. Just, try not to steal too much of my stuff and I… I’ll process this later or whatever. Maybe we can work something out? Ah, I don't know. But, uhm, yeah.” 

Gordon gave Benrey an unenthusiastic grimace and a thumbs-up and shuffled back to the microwave- which was just sitting there, because _apparently_ he never actually pressed the ‘start’ button after opening it up earlier thinking there’d been a fork about to explode. Shit. 

Dejectedly pressing start on the microwave again, Gordon cast the borrower on his counter one final look before padding back out of his kitchen and into the living room. Turning his TV back on, he attempted to drown out the sound of Benrey’s obnoxiously loud eating in the other room, and ignore what was definitely an oncoming crisis. He- he would deal with it later. 

For now though, he was going to watch some obscure, crappy, anime, and pretend there wasn't a talking ratlike-creature in his house. 

He’d pretend that he didn't get hit with some kind of magic spell. 

He’d pretend that he still lived, completely _alone_ in his apartment. 

He’d pretend that everything was perfectly normal, just like every other day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TYYYY BEATLEBAMBI FOR MAKING THA DIALOUGE IN DIS CHAPTER SO FUN. *kisses u politely, kisses u politely* you ar da real mvp here bro  
> also. love how dis chapter is longer dan tha first one *having heart eyes* live laugh love  
> anyway tired sleepy time for me! m going to bed!!


	3. What if we were both housemates and watched sicknasty anime together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we alive!!! i told yall me n beatlebambi didn't abandon thiz and i am true to my word!! u get an extra chappy after this one as a treat fo da absence doe lol<3 but!!! i am happy to be back n writing dis!!! anyways shouts out to the two page foot discussion on our shared document thats completely in white text so u have to highlight the text to see any of it.  
> also dis is the chapter where that near death experience tag comes into play so!! be aware o dat. s nothing severe but. is concern of death bein a possibility.

Luckily, it didn’t take too long before his ramen finished cooking in the microwave. He had plenty of time to set up a comfortable spot for himself on the corner of his couch, cushioned by a few pillows and a soft blanket, and get a show up and ready for himself to watch. The downside was that as soon as the microwaves alarm chimed from the kitchen, he was reminded of _Benrey_ , who’d probably still be there sitting on his counter, and eating his leftover food scraps. 

Steeling himself for the inevitable, Gordon hesitantly padded back into the kitchen, mildly surprised to see that the borrower had left, just leaving behind the empty plastic of the ritz package. 

Gordon shook his head, and ambled back to the microwave leaving the plastic package on the counter for himself to pick up later. He popped the door of the appliance open and carefully lifted the flimsy cardboard bowl with the tips of his fingers, trying his best not to burn them, and took a moment to inhale the steam. It was rare moments of warmth like these that somberly reminded Gordon of his decently lonely living conditions. Well, at least they used to. He wouldn't exactly say he’d _adjusted_ to the idea of somebody else living in his home while he’d been unaware of them for so long, but he at least wasn't on the cusp of panicking about it anymore. And hey, maybe having a mini-roommate wouldn't turn out to be too bad! Benrey could probably clean the space behind his washer and dryer for him, in return for giving him crackers or other things. 

Gordon swung open the cabinet doors above him, looking for the red pepper to add to his ramen, and seeing as the bottom shelf was absolutely _littered_ with crumbs he was positive he hadn’t left there, he retracted his sentiment. Okay, maybe living with Benrey might _not_ be so great. Scowling at the mess and distantly reminding himself to chide the borrower to pick up after themself, Gordon pulled out the container and tapped a good heap of the hot red powder into his ramen. 

He hoped Benrey didn't actually mess with the spices themselves. If he pulled some shit like replacing the salt with sugar and vice versa, Gordon would flip. Speaking of the semi-metaphorical devil, Benrey had probably scampered off somewhere under a rug or something, hopefully not about to jump out at him. He had a feeling that _would_ happen. Eventually. With the tension of that possibility being forcefully shoved to the back of his head, Gordon grabbed his fork and a Sierra Mist™ Limited Edition Sharkblaster Flavor™ from his fridge before heading out to the living room. 

Flipping the blanket onto himself, Gordon gingerly placed the ramen onto the table just off to the right from the arm of the couch. This was one of his _good_ blankets after all. He didn’t want to spill on it. Flicking on an anime he’d been meaning to watch for the past while, he waited for his ramen to cool down before eating some of it. Not that long though- slightly burning your mouth was just a part of the experience. He barely noticed when a hot noodle thwapped him in the cheek as he slurped because of the combination of the savory flavour and the compelling anime plot. And it was almost just enough for him to completely forget about the absurd little rat person in his kitchen. At least for one or two episodes. 

Almost. 

“Poppin on some pog epic anime, huh?” 

Yelping at the sudden voice, Gordon wobbled the bowl in his hands for an alarming moment before quickly managing to get a hold on it and set it back to the side table for safekeeping. 

Gordon turned his gaze down toward the voice, glowering at the small figure who’d apparently climbed up onto his couch without him noticing. There was a little hook hanging off of their side, a tiny cord of string looping the tool around their waist a few times over. It almost looked like a toy grappling hook, which was admittedly, pretty cute; it was probably how they’d gotten up. Huffing, Gordon tentatively looked back to the screen for a few moments, “ _Warn_ somebody next time before doing that.” 

Benrey shrugged, padding forward a few extra steps till he was paused at the crevice between one cushion to the next one over that Gordon was lounging on, “Couldn’t hear me from the ground anyway, better to uh,” They paused to examine the gap between the cushions once more, their tail flicking idly behind them, “Better to hop on up here so you can hear me.” 

Exhaling through his nose, Gordon settled for watching the borrower out of the corner of his eye. They paced up and down the length of what must have surely been a chasm for them at that size before finally drawing back away from it, thin tail lashing as he glared at the crack. 

Finally, Gordon paused his show and turned his full attention back to Benrey, wearing a small grin as he settled his hand down next to his thigh, “You want some help across?” 

Benrey glared at him abruptly, electing not to answer, and instead, took a running start and leapt across the gap. He probably would have gotten across too with the speed buildup if he hadn't tripped over his own foot, sending them sailing forward with a sharp cry, a stream of watery yellows bubbling from their mouth. 

More on instinct than anything, Gordon’s arm shot down to scoop the borrower up before they could plummet down into the rift. His hand closing around their small form as he abruptly leaned back from the gap between the cushions, his heart hammering in his chest at the borrowers near plummet to what surely would have been their death. Almost immediately though, Benrey began thrashing against his grip, his eyes squeezed tightly shut as more of the same color of bubbles spilled forth from his toothy maw, accompanied by a high keening whine. 

Gordon loosened his hold on Benrey, letting them scrabble upright in his palm, their chest heaving with shaky breaths as they regained their composure. Benrey blinked a few times before shaking their head out, promptly shooting him a glare, his slitted pupils blown out wide, despite his narrowed eyes. 

“HHH- _DUDE_ ,” the borrower said, gasping for air between words, “Th- thanks for catching me, but _oh my god_ , you gotta be more gentle, man. Like a uhh, gentleman. You’re lucky I'm all decked out in my gear cause _wow_ , I'd’ve lost a rib. Very unswag.” 

“Oh, sorry dude.” 

“But-” Benrey continued, easing himself down into a squat, their head hanging low, “Even though ya’ yanked me through the air like a fucking broken airplane slingshot, thanks.” 

“Yeah man, no prob,” Gordon said with a slight falter in his voice, watching nervously as Benrey finally lifted their head back up to meet his gaze. 

“Don't wanna be like the flat little moneys that you squish in there.” They let out a harsh laugh and a few more higher pitched citrus-lime bubbles. “Speaking of squish bro, you have no idea how many times you've almost straight up _killed_ me by nearly sitting on me. Gordon Assman.” 

Gordon lifted his hand to his face to better see the borrower’s tiny one. Benrey was oddly almost blue-ish in complexion, speckled with tiny scrapes and dotted with blemishes over greying skin. Even _more_ oddly, it was kind of endearing. Like tea leaves scattered at the bottom of an empty cup. Their hair was mostly obstructed by the helmet, but a few strands of untamed dark hair stuck out in a few jets above their forehead, framing their round-ish face. He was a stocky little fella, not too unlike Gordon, who-was as some folks would say- ‘a manlet’ or ‘a dilf’, despite noticeably _not_ having a son. 

Though where Gordon had a bit of muscle on him, Benrey seemed to be more compact. They looked almost as if a beanpole and a baked bean had some sort of fucked up bean baby. Gordon’s gaze shifted to the tiny thing’s eyes. Their cornea was almost luminescent? It was probably just a trick of the light, but their eyes were a dappled mess of yellows and near gold flecks. Benrey’s eyes widened a bit before hurriedly looking away to avoid eye contact. Ah well, Gordon didn't really care that much anyway. Though, objectively, Benrey _was_ sort of attractive. In a strictly observational sense though, of course. Plus, he was still the size of a Polly-Pocket™ doll. They were pretty in the sort of way he’d see some sort of small creature, like… A mouse. Yeah. 

Squinting to dislodge his thought, Gordon jabbed them softly, sending the little borrower falling onto their butt, “ _Now_ who's the assman?” he said with a bout of lighthearted, snide laughter. 

“ _Boo_ , low blow from Feetman.” Said Benrey, giving Gordon a thumbs-down accompanied by a fuzzy sounding raspberry. 

Gordon laughed, setting the little guy down onto the couchs armrest, “I was actually planning to get up about now-” 

“Don’t leave,” Benrey whined, standing up to get his attention, “I wanna see the show man- plus what if I fall again and suffocate all alone in there? That's on your conscience, beanman. I’m gonna stink up your couch if you leave me here by myself.” 

Gordon sighed, shifting in his seat as he contemplated the borrower who was now tapping their little hands against his forearm pleadingly, “ _Fine_ \- but don’t talk over the show, okay?” 

Benrey nodded up at him, making the motion of zipping his lips and tossing out a tiny little key. His little tail wagging slightly despite his controlled expression as he settled down onto the armrest expectantly. 

The two watched a few more episodes together, with Benrey lousily leaning on Gordon’s arm. After the fourth episode ended, Gordon stretched his free hand out to reach the remote on the table. He was careful not to shift the arm Benrey was resting on, and instead used his prosthetic to press play for the next episode. Nothing happened. He pressed again. Still nothing. He gingerly moved it to his other hand and pushed harder. The spiraling loading icon appeared onscreen and Gordon put the remote on his thigh and waited. 

“That’s weird.” 

“Huh?” said Benrey, turning to look up at Gordon. 

“It’s not loading.” 

“Lemme try,” Benrey hopped up from his seat on the armrest and slid down Gordons stomach to reach the remote. 

“ _Wh_ \- Benrey you can't just _do_ that! It kinda tickles man.” 

Ignoring Gordon’s comment, he moved to climb on the device. He padded towards the play button and stomped on it repeatedly. 

“Hey! Stop dude it could break! I don’t wanna have to buy another one of those!” Gordon said, nudging him off the remote and moving the remote back to the side table. 

“Here-” Gordon lifted the borrower gently, placing a pillow into his lap, and set him down on top of it. Benrey still didn’t seem very keen on being picked up, but he at least he wasn't kicking and on the verge of biting again, “Now, I know we kind of got off on the wrong foot and I was being kind of dickish, but if you’re gonna live here I don't want us to be _enemies_ , you know?” 

“I don’t know man, I really want an enemy…” Benrey mused, giving Gordon a crooked little smirk, “But nah, you’re right on that one.” 

“Oh and now that I know you’re here- do I need to get you like, a litter box or something?” Gordon said, returning the cheeky grin, which- apparently- sailed right through Benrey’s evidently empty brain. 

“Ew, no dude. I'm not a cat. I’ve got my own stuff. I don't want your shit sand.” 

“Oh yeah, you said you did have some sort of house,” Gordon mumbled to deaf ears, as Benrey was now onto repeating the phrase ‘pee and shit sand; nut and fart dirt,’ to himself. 

“Hey- where do you live? I mean- I know you live in my apartment, but you've gotta have your own corner or something.” 

“Huh?” 

“Where do you li-” 

“Oh yeah I’ve got my own little cubby. It’s uh, actually pretty close to your hole bro.” 

“ _What_.” 

“The place you sleep?” 

Gordon let out an internal sigh of relief that was quickly replaced by another dose of confusion. That was probably going to become a regular occurrence from talking to Benrey. 

“You- are you living in my bedroom?” 

“Yeah. ‘N it's past my bedtime anyways Feetman.” Said Benrey, yawning for emphasis. He looked up at Gordon with a pathetic pleading face “Carry me _pwease_?” 

Despite his visceral revulsion at the wording the borrower had decided to use, Gordon laid his palm out flat for Benrey to clamber onto. The little fella turned and fell trust-fall style into his hand and simply laid there, just chilling. 

Gordon turned off the TV and grabbed his phone on his way to his bedroom. 

“Uh, so where do I put you?” Gordon asked, looking around, searching for maybe a nest or a crack in the wall; something to indicate any entrance to a hidden room. 

“Bookshelf please? I’ll head to my room from there.” 

Giving them a gentle pat on the head that left Benrey sputtering a few glowing orbs indignantly, Gordon slid the borrower onto the highest shelf of his bookcase that he could reach. 

Benrey stood up and turned to Gordon and waved. “G’night Gordo.” He said, between singing deep tones of glowing lavender bubbles. 

Gordon smiled at the spectacle and waved back to him murmuring a goodnight in return as the tiny creature disappeared behind the space between two books.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUEAH!!! also.. there is a part of this chapter that makes me laugh EVERY single time and yall hav beatlebambi to thank fo dat... king of dialogue <3


	4. We’re just going to pretend I wasn't breaking every rule alright

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bonus chapter!! AND its from a benrey pov?? Wowwee!!  
> This chapter brought to u by the seven images of soda, crackers and the vile soggy ghram cracker images at the bottom of our document <3 it iz jus da writing process baybe...

Benrey trotted just out of sight of the bean, pausing to duck behind one of the stupidly large books there and let the uneasiness in their chest finally settle. The strong prickling on the back of their neck had been a constant ever since Gordon had finally laid eyes on him, but finally on his own again with that sensation fading, he was able to fully relax. Sure he didn’t _mind_ the guy, even if he’d obviously had some issues with him at the beginning, but he didn’t realize how relieving it’d be to finally let his senses hop down off overdrive. 

When the anxious twitching of their tail eventually subsided, Benrey let out a short, practiced breath, angling their hearing back toward Gordon’s room more out of habit than anything. 

The telltale shuffling of the bean making his nighttime rounds met Benrey’s ears and he pried himself off the spine of the book where he’d been leaning. Benrey hesitated as he glanced down the dark and narrow passageway behind the books. He probably shouldn't have talked to Gordon. It was against basically every principal he’d ever been taught and of course he’d had to go and break it for no real reason. Aside from being fed up with his relative solitude. Sure, he met up with Tommy behind the fridge and the Grandpas in the wall behind the couch occasionally, but without any other people to talk to, life got boring _fast_. 

It was especially hard just to keep to himself when the bean had so much going on too! He was always doing _something_ , trying to never leave himself unoccupied for even a moment and Benrey just wished they could do that too. But no, their life was a system of hide, borrow, hide, borrow and hide some more. And it was so fucking boring. There was hardly anything to do when he was in his hideaway on his own. Mostly he slept, mended whatever of his clothes needed fixing- which was usually a lot- and tried his hand at making furniture for his house, even though Tommy made most of the stuff he _actually_ used anyway. 

Benrey padded down the line of books and pulled themself up the hole in the corner of the shelf above. It took three more levels before they reached the top of the bookcase, but when they arrived, Benrey didn’t waste any time surveying Gordon’s room like he usually did, and instead pulled himself straight up into the small hole in the ceiling. The flooring scraped slightly beneath his feet with each of Benrey’s steps, his well-worn boots dragging against the familiar rough wood. 

Finally, he reached the ladder leading down into the brick wall where his room was situated. Adjusting his frayed little gloves, Benrey carefully gripped onto the rungs of the matchstick ladder and began his descent down, fingers slipping into the worn handholds of the pliant wood. When he reached the bottom, he dusted himself off out of habit, only pausing when he heard a quiet shuffling sound coming from his den. 

Benrey’s tail flicked to-and-fro in an immediate nervous reaction to the sound. Tommy was the only one who really knew where his house was, so it was probably just him stopping by. It didn’t really serve to quell his nerves any though, because Tommy never came over for no reason. _Benrey_ was always the one to stop by his house to talk or complain about something, so Tommy didn’t often see their house. So either he was really hurt and needing help, or there was something else going on, and Benrey had a sinking feeling they knew which it was going to be. 

Quickly padding down the dark, winding hall to the door of his home, Benrey paused just outside, their hand hovering just above the wooden handle. Swallowing down their nerves, Benrey pulled the door open, quickly doing a routine scan of the inside of their home. Their eyes flicked over their unkempt bed of stolen, patched together foam and some cardboard to keep it stable; the pile of various trinkets they’d picked up from around Gordon’s house; their limited stash of food and the pile of scrap fabrics in the corner which they occasionally buried themself in. And of course, Tommy. 

Their friend was lounging on the floor right next to his bed, back pressed up against the foot of it and fiddling with some string and an old jacket of Benrey’s. Probably trying to fix it since they’d been complaining about the ripped sleeve for a while now. 

Tommy glanced up at their entrance, a small smile working over his freckled features as he placed the needle and thread off to his side, “Benrey!” 

“Tommy!” Benrey shouted back in a needlessly loud voice, grinning down at their friend as they flopped down next to him on the floor, “What’s up man.” 

“I came over to see uh-” Tommy held up the jacket in front of Benrey, nodding toward the partially detached sleeve. “You’re missing some fabric here and I don't know how much, so I need to see your shoulders.” Benrey sighed in relief. Maybe Tommy didn't know about him and the bean. He rolled over to his friend and sat in front of him like a giddy little kid at a salon. “Arms up, please.” Tommy carefully helped him into the jacket, careful not to poke him with the pins holding it together. “You know, you’ve really gotta be more careful out- out there.” 

“Oh deffo.” 

“You could get stepped on or swatted like- like a cricket at a picnic.” Benrey bobbed his whole torso in dramatic agreement. “Oh, careful, pins.” 

“Oop.” Benrey stilled as they felt the pressure of the needle ghosting over the fabric of their shirt. 

After a few peaceful moments of silence and empty-full thoughts, Benrey’s short acknowledgements of ‘Yes’ and ‘Oh’ and ‘No’ morphed into a melodious word jumble of sing-song gibberish and sweet voice. 

“Mmmmmmmmmm-” Benrey hummed while fiddling with their shoelaces. “-mmmmiiicrowaveeee.” 

“Oh, speaking of microwaves, did you bring back any good snacks for me after your uh, kitchen hunt? You were gone for quite a while.” 

“Whuh?” 

“Didn't you bring back some crackers?” Tommy asked all too innocently, tapping his fingernails on Benrey’s helmet. “Oh and arms up again, please.” 

“Oh yeah, pretty uneventful hunt. Got some crackers and uh…” He trailed off, intently fixing his gaze onto the ripped ends of his shoelaces so not to betray anything, “Yeah.” 

“Okay! Cool.” Tommy replied, an abnormally calm tone in his voice for what he may or may not have known. Benrey’s tail curled closer to their body as they let their arms fall again and forced their stare to remain downwards instead of looking back to Tommy to gauge whatever their friend was feeling. They didn’t _like_ lying to Tommy, it was easier though than having to tell him that he’d gone out and talked with a bean. Basically the _one_ thing they were _not_ supposed to do. He knew the risks of what he was doing. At least sort of. He just didn’t need Tommy repeating all the dangers to him either. Discovery meant fleeing and he didn’t _want_ to go yet. Already had his sick gamer pad set up, made cool friends everything. If Tommy figured out that he’d been discovered he’d probably leave on his own and they wouldn't be able to be friends anymore. 

Tommy scooted over to face Benrey, “Just next time, let me know how far you're going- and where- and who you’re talking to, okay? I've got tons of helping- helpful stuff and I don't want you to get squished cause you couldn't see fast enough.” He said, giving the shorter borrower a few affectionate taps on his helmet. “Also thanks for not telling the- the bean about me or anything. But-” Tommy put both of his hands on Benrey’s shoulders and stared him in the eyes. “-That is the bare minimum! Don't tell him any more!” 

Benrey stilled under Tommy’s grip, a jet of teal sweet voice spilling past his lips speaking his surprise for him, “Uh, I didn’t- I don’t know what you’re talking about bro,” Benrey settled on denial, crossing his arms over his chest and forcing his eyes to remain half-lidded. 

“Benrey,” Tommy said shortly, “I live behind the fridge. Right behind where you were talking to the bean. I could hear you.” 

“Oh.” 

“Also, I grabbed some more crackers while you were distracting the bigbean. You can come over to my home if you want some.” 

“And we can dip ‘em in orange crush?” Benrey pleaded. 

“Yeah!” 

“Nice.” 

As Tommy got back to work on patching the jacket back up, Benrey let out a placated sigh, glad that Tommy wasn’t going to be hurrying to get himself packed up anytime soon. For now, he could just think about the sweet, sweet soda and crackers they were going to have in his near future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and das chappy 4! ! ! s a little shorter than da other ones but. fitting ending fo it i tghink! *kisses each and ever one of u politely on da cheek* ty, ty, ty. if ur reading this ur so so epic and swag okay i will see u all next chapter <3


	5. LUNCH.EXE. 404 LETTER NOT FOUND

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YUAHOO FOR A CHAPTER THAS NEARLY TWICE THE SIZE OF ALL OUR OTHER ONES... Or at least feels like it. s really long in our doc compared to the other ones iz what i mean i guess. M actually SUPER proud of this one doe!!! really happy w how me n marrow put it together and... yueah 💖swagger. kicked it out in TWO DAYS we legit got so much work done.. go us! *grinning*  
> there is a bit of discussion of parent + child strained relationship in this chapter but ain't discussed Super in depth.

“Oh shit-” Gordon realized through his steam-clouded glasses, “I forgot to turn on the fan.” No wonder it took almost half an hour to squeeze into his binder after his shower. Flicking the fan on with an idle wave of his hand, not that it’d do much good for the bathroom _now_ , Gordon pulled a loose t-shirt over his head, and rummaged around the topmost drawer for a comb. Luckily, his curls weren't too knotted to brush and massage some gloopy product through them. Gordon flipped his head over to do his ‘unconventional’ -as told by his mom- hair drying technique. His style was to flip it over, and just go absolutely insane on it. A better way he’d describe the unorthodox method might be a dog itching its ear with its hind leg, or someone frantically trying to get a bee out of their hair. Worked well enough for him anyway, despite how funny it looked to anyone watching. 

After a good amount of swatting and fluffing his brown hair wildly, Gordon balled up his towel and shot it into the hamper, _beautifully_ sinking it with one throw. "Niiice.” He laughed to himself, “Folks gotta call me Gordon Sportsman now." He paused, realizing that sounded exactly like something Benrey would say. Messing with his vocabulary after a day of knowing him? “He’s _definitely_ magical in more ways than one,” He thought. “Wait. That sounds gay.” The absolutely not-straight man laughed to himself. 

Catching sight of his reflection in the mirror, Gordon angled his head to the side to check for any new blemishes. His face was a little bumpy but that was to be expected for him being on T for over a few years. He caught himself absentmindedly picking at the underside of his bicep and pulled his hands together. _Nope nope nope_ , _don't pick_ , he silently scolded himself. Banishing the thought from his head, he let his hands drift upward to thumb over his beard. It’d grown in nicely, but it was still a bit patchy up higher around his cheekbones. It would still be about a week before he needed a trim. 

He pumped some lotion from the bottle of moisturizer that _definitely_ had way too many words on the label and took a deep breath. The mint stung his nose, but in the good, refreshing way. Dabbing it onto his face, Gordon skirted around his dark eyebrows, making sure not to get any stuck in them. Or his eyes. That would hurt. Wiping away the excess lotion onto his forearms, he fluffed his hair, and swiped a few strands over his shoulder. 

Today was a planned-to-be-productive day. He still had a bit of work from one of his co-workers, but it was all manageable stuff if he really put his effort into finishing it. Not that he should have to as he already finished his _own_ work, but hopefully the few brownie points he’d earn in return work be worth it. Surely it wouldnt backfire on him and just lead to all his associates thinking they could dump their workload onto him with no repercussions, right? He pulled up his long hair into a ‘Professional Ponytail’, grabbed the slightly moist sticky note from the mirror, and headed to his office. It wasn't really an office per-se. Just a foldable table in his bedroom with a spinny chair and his computer. Which, admittedly, was pretty pathetic for someone who’d lived here for four years. But he didn't really have the pocket cash to go and get a fancy ‘oak bureau’ or something. Whatever the fuck that was. 

Scooting into his desk, Gordon stuck his to-do list sticky note on the bottom of his monitor and wiggled his mouse, waiting for the screen to flash on so he could begin his day. It probably wasn’t the _best_ for his brain to work on an empty stomach, but he also didn’t want to move from his spot to get anything to eat either. 

As Gordon read the repair notes he realized that the co-worker who graciously handed off the work to him, had _completely_ fucked up the system network. Like someone handed the world's smartest raccoon a keyboard and access to computer hardware and let it go wild. He’d have to _manually_ go through and fix every error. Popping open a new tab, Gordon set an alarm for an hour and a half. He’d fix as many errors in the Phi network as he could in that time. “Like a race!” He thought, trying to pleasantly convince himself the task wouldn't bore him to death near immediately. Already knowing better as he spotted a major issue just in the top line, Gordon settled a bit further into his chair as he set to fixing it. 

. . . 

It had been an hour and forty minutes. And only approximately 32 out of 51 errors had been re-coded and repaired. 

“I guess I won the race? Probably? I mean, I wasn’t up against anyone else and I kinda’ went ten minutes over the alarm,” He mumbled, tapping his fingernails on the table “Second place. Yeah, that's good enough.” He joked to an empty room. Or maybe not _totally_ empty, he’d dropped Benrey onto the bookshelf last night, maybe they had a little house tucked away in there or something. If Benrey was present, they weren’t making themselves known yet. 

_Breakfast was a hopeless endeavor about now_ , he mused as he glanced to the clock, already having flipped over to the afternoon. Guess he’d have to make some lunch. 

“Not really feeling cereal.. Probably don’t have milk anyway. And I had ramen yesterday…” He thought out loud on his way to the kitchen. Scratching sleepily at the back of his head, Gordon slid across the plastic tile, nearly missing the conveniently wrapped sandwich on his countertop in his diluted thought process. A rustling sound roused him up from his stupor. Something in the cabinets. It was probably just Benrey but he couldn’t help the flash of curiosity he felt. Gordon wasn’t just going to go and pull open all the drawers to find the guy, he’d probably come out if he needed anything, but he did have to squash that instinct to find the source of the noise. Speaking of the devil, Gordon’s gaze locked onto the freshly prepared plate on the counter. A cheese sandwich, grapes, even a little pack of scooby-doo gummies- It reminded him of a snack for a little kid! Like something a mom would prepare for a fourth grader. 

“Woah. Nice.” Gordon looked around, listening intently for any more of the rustlings of someone else moving around. 

“Benrey?” he half-shouted, “Did you make this for me? Or is it yours? No offense but it seems kinda like too big of a meal for your size or, species, um,” Gordon trailed off as he looked back toward the meal. 

Silence was the only thing to meet Gordon’s ears. 

“Being shy right now? That's fine, that's okay- thank you for lunch! I’m gonna’ head back to my office now…” 

Picking up the paper plate the meal was set on, Gordon carefully took it back to his room, half wondering how Benrey had managed to open the fridge door to get the cheese out of there. As he got back inside, Gordon kicked his door shut behind him with one foot, and popped a grape in his mouth. He was halfway back to his desk before he stopped in his tracks, eyebrows furrowing at the small figure on his desk. 

Benrey was relaxed on the computer tower, double fisting a cheeto puff and a slab of butter in both hands. 

“Is that butter? Gross dude; but I mean, do what u gotta’ I guess.” 

“Haha yeah.” Benrey laughed monotonously, dipping the cheeto puff in his butter glob and making Gordon grimace. 

“‘Dunno if you heard me in there but thanks for the lunch.” 

Benrey stared at him blankly, taking a moment to process what he was saying, “Uhh. Yeah. No prob.” 

“How’d you get from the kitchen to here so fast though?” Gordon asked, crossing the room again to take a seat at his desk. 

The borrower hesitated. “Tunnels.” 

“Like, hamster tubes?” Gordon laughed, raising an eyebrow at Benrey, and only getting _slightly_ nervous at the prospect of legitimate passageways carved out inside his thin drywall. 

“Yes? No? No hamster stuff. Just like, in the ceiling and walls and junk.” 

“Seriously?” Gordon asked, now legitimately worried about the structural integrity of his apartment. 

“No lie, bro. Would never lie. Big- big ol’ truther.” He announced, voice laced with faux sincerity. Gordon amusedly imagined bonking Benrey over the head with a cartoonishly large mallet for the obvious lie, only moderately feeling bad when he remembered something that size would absolutely do some real damage to the borrower. 

“Alright… Kinda creepy, but I get it.” 

“Whatcha playin’?” The borrower asked through a mouthful of buttery cheeto. 

“Oh, I’m not playing, I'm actually doing some work. For my job. Wait, do- do borrowers have jobs? Like, retail shit or whatever?” 

“Some of us do. Kinda. There's like, food and junk collector kinda jobs and then there's Briefcase Jobs.” 

“You mean you guys do have little offices and businesses?” Gordon cooed, a grin creeping over his features at the idea of a dollhouse sized office building. 

“Yes... No.” They said, slightly dodging the question. “What's your job about?” 

“Right. Computer.” 

“Oh sorry, do you know what that is?” 

“Kinda?” 

“It's the stuff you're sitting on.” 

“Oh cool. Yeah, makes a good seat, s’ warm. I've heard of it. I just call it something else.” 

“Do you call it like, a picture box or something-” Gordon said, holding in a bout of laughter. 

“What? No dude.” Benrey said, smirking. “Don't patronize me. I just call it ‘Internet’.” 

Huffing out a laugh, Gordon glanced back to the screen, figuring he could at least take a few minutes to chat, “Dude that’s- they’re not even the same thing. That’s two _completely_ different things.” 

“No but like, that's what it's for. Like how a cheese grater is called a cheese grater. It’s ‘Internet’ cause’ you go to the internet. ‘S not that hard bro.” 

“But you can use it for other stuff?” 

“Yeah. You can use a cheese grater as a bed but it's still a cheese grater.” 

“Okay, but you can still do things offline on a computer too! A cheese grater’s one purpose is to grate cheese. Nothing else. You can play like- Peggle or whatever without having to use the internet.” 

“Nah cheese grater can be anything dude.” 

“Okay fine! Then i'm gonna use the computer as a coat rack!” Gordon laughed, grabbing a jacket from the back of the chair and tossing it over the borrower. 

Hissing bitterly from beneath the jacket, Benrey thrashed around under it for a few moments before managing to slide out one of the sleeves that’d flopped onto the desk, accompanied by a cloud of orange bubbles. Shaking themself off, Benrey shot him a flat glare. “That's a pretty crap coat rack.” 

“Just following your logic!” Gordon teased. 

Benrey stuffed the final bite of buttery cheeto into his mouth and leaned against the monitor stand. “Anything I can do?” 

“To help?” 

“Maybe.” 

“I mean, not really, unless you have some secret coding knowledge and a barbie sized laptop up your sleeve, this is something I’ve gotta work on.” 

Benrey hummed out something wordless in response, wiping their hands down on their pants before moving to settle into a more comfortable position. Taking that as them deciding to stick around for a while, Gordon got back to work on the next problem at hand. His gaze occasionally flicking down to the borrower to make sure they weren’t chewing on his wires or something. Instead, he spotted them a few times fiddling with a bit of string they pulled from their coat pocket, doing some complicated cats cradle sort of thing he wasn’t familiar with. 

After about fifteen minutes of Gordon’s tedious re-coding and Benrey picking the food out of his oddly sharp teeth, the borrower stood up and stepped back to see Gordon’s work. 

“Huh.” the little thing mumbled, grabbing the corner of Gordon’s sticky note to fiddle with as they stared up at the theatre-sized screen. Attempting to stay ‘in-the-zone’ Gordon paid no mind to them watching and kept working. 

He hardly made it another two minutes before the sharp sound of something clattering onto his desk alerted him of the borrower's presence once more. Glancing down to them, Gordon took stock of the scene with a growing smile. Somehow, Benrey’d managed to pull open one of his pens, larger than their own body, and had scribbled over one of Gordon’s sticky notes that they’d folded into an origami frog. 

“Lol. This is my frog mom now.” 

Gordon frowned while checking out the piece of origami, “Frog mom? Do- it wasn’t mine- my mom- in the first place dude.” 

A cluster of golden-yellowish-orange bubbles poured out of the borrower as they laughed. “Nah. Said ‘mom’ on it.” they said, poking the paper frog. “Yo mama so flat i made her ore-of-gami.” 

Snorting out an incredulous laugh, Gordon motioned for Benrey to hand the paper frog over. As Benrey did so, Gordon held it up closer to his face, seeing most of the page scribbled over, but the word mom had a careful box left around it. Probably so Benrey _didn’t_ color over it by accident. Gordon half wished he had at the reminder though, his expression twitching as he gingerly handed the frog back. 

“Cute.” He said, forcing a smile onto his face as he intently looked back to his monitor. He couldn't help but start to pick at the skin around his nails as his eyes grazed sightlessly over the strings of code. Pale colors blending and clashing together till it was an unreadable mix of numbers and letters, the contents of what’d originally been on the sticky note frog cycling through his head on repeat. 

He’d have to open that letter eventually. He already knew where it was stowed away; shoved to the back of his nightstands drawer so he didn’t have to think about it. But having the memory of it being dredged up again had him feeling like he could already _see_ the damn thing. He could practically feel the aura of tension hovering around the little paper envelope, a murky light cutting through his subconscious and enveloping him in it’s clawed grasp. 

“Woah. I didn't mean it dude. I know ur mom isn't flat. Probably. Are you good?” 

Gordon blinked out of his trance, discreetly wiping away the building tears, despite Benrey probably having seen them already, “Yeah I’m… I’m alright. I wasn’t really upset about the mom joke thing; you’re fine.” 

Offering him a suspicious glare, Benrey hopped to his feet, making his way over Gordon’s desk and putting a hesitant hand onto his forearm, “Why were you all up and crying then bro?” Just as Gordon had thought, Benrey hadn’t missed that either apparently, “I can uh, I can unfold the thingy if you needed it to write on or whatever. Still… Got some blank patches.” 

“No it’s-” Gordon let out a heavy sigh, easing back in his chair and withdrawing his hands so he could undo his ponytail to play with his hair as he thought. “It was a reminder to see what my mom said. We’re uh… We’re not on the best of terms. Haven’t been for years and she sends these shitty letters to like. Try and reconcile or whatever. And she never apologizes for all the shit she’s done in them so they just put me in a bad mood whenever I read them. But I- sometimes I hope, you know?” 

“Gross.” 

Letting out a dry laugh, Gordon looked back to Benrey, still standing where his arm had rested moments before, “Yeah. Really gross. I’ve gotta’ read it sometime but, I dunno’. Sucks having to think about.” 

“You could just get it over with.” 

“I could! But it also means I have to actually read, and like, comprehend whatever's on there too!” 

“Okay. Wanna do it now?” Benrey asked plainly, either completely ignoring what he said or disregarding the hazards of it, “It’s not like it’s any new sort of threat, right? You’ve already read the ones she's sent in the past. Unless this one has like, a springy knife in it- you'll be fine.” 

That… Was a fair point. He’d been getting the letters for nearly four years now, about as long as he’d lived here, he could handle whatever was in the newest one. Same moat, new boat. It’d be fine. Totally. 

“I’ll grab it.” 

Benrey let out a toneless cheer of pale blue bubbles as Gordon rose from his office chair, stalking over his carpeted floor, he made his way to the nightstand. Only allowing himself to hesitate for a moment, seeing as Benrey was watching his every move, Gordon pulled open the drawer. Brushing aside the manual for his prosthetic, a book he’d never got around to reading, and a few various knick-knacks, he spotted the halfway crumpled letter in the back of the drawer. 

“Dooooo itttttt.” 

Shooting a pathetically-worn ‘confident’ look over his shoulder, Gordon pulled the letter out, righted it in his grasp, and headed back to his desk. 

“Here goes…” 

Not bothering to open the flap, Gordon tore the envelope in half like a cursed fortune cookie and unfurled the letter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> benrey and tommy are HEATHENS and like gross food... ritz in orange soda and cheeto dipped in butter.... they are both like that phase when u are a kid and dip any solid food in anything that is kind of liquid. anyway! hope yall enjoyed and shoutout to the swagger timeline at the bottom of our doc and da images of large items marrow put in dere as a size reference fo borrowers 💖  
> Also!!! WE GOT FANART... GO LOOK AT IT PLZ PLZ ITS LEGIT SO SWAGGER...  
> https://www.instagram.com/p/CLI0ZgrByLE/?igshid=udkvevxezboi

**Author's Note:**

> i actually hav sum one else reading what i write befo posting lol so... i cant say no beta reader on this no more. if u DO see a mistake in here tho feel free to let me know!!


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